Dan Taylor

The short version: This party sucked. It was ruined by bad people, a bad vibe, a production company that clearly has no idea how to run timings, and a bad location. FU Pyramide, FU Hypnotic, but I still love you Richie.

I don’t even really know how to talk about this party. Maybe the best place to start is in the beginning.

When I was in university in Rochester, NY, I spent many weekends making the ritual drive around the lake, and heading up to Toronto to hear some world class DJ’s and experience some excellent clubs. Amongst some of these best DJ’s, one of the best parties I’ve ever been to had Richie Hawtin as the headliner. I’m dating myself here, but this was sometime around 1997-98. Richie had already achieved a star status, but was still playing for a 400-500 person crowd. Big, but not too big, small enough, but not too small, just all in all, incredible music, good people, a good vibe, and an all around awesome party.

Richie played Saturday night at the Pyramide in Vösendorf, a suburb of Vienna. At least, I think he played. I didn’t make it that far. There are so many things that went wrong with this party it’s hard to even list them. This might possibly have been the worst party I’ve ever been too, which is really saying something, as I thought I’d been to some pretty crappy parties before. To be fair, the Pyramide soundsystem was outstanding, but that’s about the only thing that impressed me.

Within about an hour it became all too apparent what I’d just stepped into: a pure commercial event. I don’t blame Richie. He’s truly obtained superstar status. In order for a production company to book Richie, they MUST book a massive venue, as I’m sure Mr. Hawtin took home anywhere between 10 and 15k for playing for 2 hours. Don’t take this as gospel, as I truly have no idea, but I do know that Parov Stelar, who has a fairly decent name commands around 5k to play an evening, Richie’s rate must be financially reflected by his popularity and world known name.

While I am a fan of the music, I’m also a fan of an ‘experience’. I am a DJ, and therefor for me, the music has to be good, but let’s face it, the music is only one of the possible senses that can be addressed in an evening. One of my most impressed memories about the Toronto party scene is/was the attitude…the atmosphere. Call me old school (’cause I am an OG now), but I still believe in PLUR. I know it’s a term that’s been played out, and plenty of party scene folks become jaded and disinterested over time, I still believe in the spirit of the term. There was simply no PLUR present in Vösendorf on Saturday night. It was cold. It was bare, it was commercial, and it had absolutely no vibe whatsoever.

Another big factor for me is attention to details. There are a few clubs/events that really stick out in my mind as having a pure “WOW!” factor. Lighting can make a huge difference in setting overall mood. One that sticks out to me was a club slightly outside of Toronto. In hindsight, there’s nothing incredibly special about this, but it simply set the mood. You walked in the entrance, all walls are painted black with dark carpeting. The tickets are on the right, and the coat room on the left. The entrance way is bathed in a soft red light, and the top of the first staircase is illuminated with one red spotlight. You walked up that staircase into this red light, turned the corner, and walked up another set of stairs blanketed in aqua light. One more turn, and the stairs are washed with blacklights. All the while the volume of the dancefloor above you increases at each turn. Dramatic. Tension building. Until you finally arrive at the main entrance to the dancefloor with it’s massive light show whirling above your head.

Sounds like a great entrance eh? Let’s fast forward to Saturday night. We entered through 2 glass doors, into a lobby brightly lit with fluorescent lights blasted from above. Let me say that again, ALL THE LIGHTS WERE ON. As if we were there for a business convention (which, incidentally, the Pyramide is normally used for).

To top it all off, we didn’t even make it to see Richie perform. We were all simply exhausted. I don’t know if it was Hypnotic (the production company) or Richie’s personal choice, but he didn’t come on until at least 5am. We bagged it and called it a night around 4:30. Richie was floating around the DJ booth, indicating that he was getting ready, but really: 5am? That’s simply ridiculous. Let’s face it, but 5am, the people that are there and are drinking are way to drunk to know what’s going on. The people that are there that are on pills are completely f(*&ed out of their mind, and would think that my dog was the best DJ they’d ever heard. And the people that are there that are relatively (I had 4 beers, i think) sober, and have been there most of the evening are simply exhausted. I have absolutely no problem with staying out until 6 in the morning dancing my ass off, but that means I have to be entertained between 2-4/5 am. To bring the headliner on at 5am is simply ridiculous.

So sadly, while I dropped a decent amount of coinage (25 Euro) on this party out in the middle of nowhere, and was surrounded by cold, party posers, and didn’t even get to hear Richie, I did learn a lot. I learned how NOT to throw a party. I learned HOW to be prepared for a party. I learned NOT to ever expect much from Hypnotic’s parties. I learned that it will take AN ACT OF GOD to get me out to the Pyramide again. And all in all, I learned WHAT a commercial party is, and will NEVER throw one myself. If our parties get beyond an underground feeling (as I still believe a big party CAN still have PLUR present), that’s the day I throw in the towel and start something new.

If you’ve made it this far in the post, thanks for reading. I’m not mad. I’m not sad. It might even been my own damn fault, as I had such high expectations for this world class DJ, and it was just simply ruined by a bad location, a bad crowd, and a bad production company.

Vienna, I’m disappointed. Show me you can do better than this.